Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I'm procrastinating

So i have 4 more hours til i can go to sleep, and i SHOULD be working on a power point for a noon conference talk that i have to give in about two weeks. Instead i am procrastinating, going over in my head why i should continue this blog.

why blog? why share your feelings with the public? why air your dirty laundry in public? and why would anyone care?

i have to say that i kept a FABULOUS blog when i was on myspace. it followed my journey in med school, dealing with my 3rd and 4th year rotations, my drama with friends and boys, and even chronicled my meeting of berry and documented my love that grew so quickly. it was my masterpiece. i could have published it as a small novel. but it vanished when i closed my myspace account.

fast forward 3 years. a lot has changed, including me! and yet i have a desire to blog again. part of me thinks it has a lot to do with my education background. i was a history major at duke and spent my 4 years writing A LOT of papers and even subjected myself to writing a 130+ page thesis my senior year. i loved it! my career now doesn't allow me for much writing. my tests are multiple choice, my notes are now written by residents, and i barely pick up a pen to write anymore. i love to write. i just do.
another reason is that i am an open person. i don't hold back. i don't keep quiet. i am an open book....and people tend to think i overshare but it is just the way i am. it is just my personality. i wasn't always like this- growing up i was a bit of a nerd, very quiet, and always let people overshadow me. i never wanted to change that, it just happened. and i think it happened because of my pregnancy. people talked about me, a lot. and instead of letting them talk and say what they wanted (truth or not), i decided to make sure they KNEW the truth.
and so it began:
"i got pregnant at 17."
"i didn't pass Step 1 in med school."
"i had an eating disorder."

i share. i like to write. and therefore, i blog. read it, don't read it. contribute to it, don't contribute to it. it won't change me. and i am ok with that. :)

1 comment:

  1. Hey, I started reading your blog when you linked it from your facebook account. I too used to have an awesome blog. It took me through being diagnosed, through the thought of going to nursing school all the way through me taking my boards. I wrote about my loves, the good ones and the bad ones etc. It was 10 years worth of life's stuff. I chose to take it down about eight months ago and I am soo sorry I did. I miss it.

    I am just like you in that I am an open book, I am always accused of "oversharing" but I don't care. I used to care, I used to try to change it and be less open but it doesn't work for my personality so I decided to say screw it, and just be who I am.

    You are inspiring me to start another blog.