Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Do you remember the Friends episode where Chandler admits that he hadn't cried since a child?  Not even one tear about his childhood, sad movies or sad memories.....and Joey, Phoebe and Monica call him "dead inside" because he can't cry.  Well, I can pretty much relate everything in my life to a Friends episode....or Gilmore Girls.....and i can relate to Chandler....i don't usually cry.  Partly because i am on an antidepressant that i feel takes away part of my emotion, but also because i never was very "open" with my feelings and i just didn't cry. 
But i am a girl and people assume that i will cry (and yet another shout BFF is crybaby cave so there could be strength in numbers...haha).....there was even a bet amongst the 2nd year fellows when i was a 1st year to see when i would cry for the first time during fellowship.  They all lost.  I didn't cry (at work) until Nov 2011- 16 months into fellowship!

But all of that has changed over the past month.  I am now crying at the drop of a hat and seriously?  I am kinda getting tired of being so "emotional." 
I have cried twice at VA clinic over the past two weeks- once was necessary but the second time was because i got locked out of the computer system....and because of that, i burst into tears!  SERIOUSLY?!?!?  Then i am crying at stupid movies (see previous blog)- which by the way, i am not letting my friend pick any more movies.  From now on, i am picking- and they will either be horror movies or action movies.  No more romance/sadness/mushiness. 
And then i took Tay to school early this morning to leave on a field trip for three days and i got all sad thinking about how lonely i will be when she goes off to THREE years....and started crying again!

Thank goodness there is research out there that shows that crying relieves stress and lowers blood pressure (and stress and high BP can lead to a heart attack) by "boo hoo-ing" a lot over the past month, i am decreasing my risk for a heart attack.
I guess that is really looking at the bright side.

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