I am sitting here waiting for the electrician, so i thought i would update you all on, well, life in general.
First off, stay safe my friends in New England. It is currently 63 here in Charleston and i cannot even fathom 24+ inches of the white stuff. I do like snow, don't get me wrong.....my fellow fellow and i talked about Canaan Valley and how we both learned to ski there! We were probably there at the same time! Crazy! And so yes, i like snow but have turned into a "southern wuss" where any temps lower than 60, i am turning on my electric blanket and grabbing my coat. Yes, total wuss!
I want to share some cute cute cute pictures of my niece, who i just adore. Auntie Lara is going to miss her because her father (my brother) got a Peds Dentistry Fellowship at Ohio State (!!!!). And so yes, i am excited for him to continue his education but man! I am going to miss him, his wife, and Ava....and my soon to be born 2nd neice. <3
Here is Paul, Ava and my dad watching the Duke bball game. :)
I love this because i remember vividly watching Duke games with my father when i was a young girl.
And i do have to say, that sometimes people surprise you. In a really good way.
It is so easy to get caught up in your own drama/life and everyone else gets caught up in their own lives and sometimes when you feel down and all entangled in yourself, you forget there are other people out there who care. And it is almost like you don't want to bother them with your problems because they look so happy with their job or marriage or kids or whatever, but you are falling apart. Not to get too far off track from my story (because i have a point, i really do), but i will admit that i hit rock bottom last week. Actually, i went past rock bottom.....i went about a foot further than rock bottom which resulted in about a 1/2 bottle of wine and 4 hours solid of crying. remember that whole crying blog where i told you i had turned into a "L" version of "crybaby cave?" this totally embodied that name one night last week.
how did that happen, you ask? how did this seemingly well put together girl fall so far from where she came from? it goes like this:....i had a conversation with an attending at work last week, which saved my career, and possibly me from myself. in a seemingly innocent conversation where i asked him about jobs and contracts, the subject quickly went to me and MY issues. this is where he asked/said "what are you doing with your life? you are flailing. you are not focused. you are not the person you were 3 years ago. you let your unfortunate circumstances dictate your life. you are playing the victim. suck it up, you are better than you are acting, you need to stop this pitty party, focus, and focus some more. with laser like vision."
oh man. that is all hard to hear....mainly because it is true. so with that conversation, i passed rock bottom and hit what i can only call "a place where i never want to be again." that one conversation, that one journey to pass rock bottom made my eyes open....and i can't really say that i any better now....maybe a little bit, but i am working on it. it is time to stop saying "poor me."
so with that being said, i love surprises. especially when it is unexpected, out of the blue, and totally selfless. i am the proud owner of new bling AND the envy of my co-workers because i got sent jewelry to my work address. this one act of kindness is amazing and makes me realize i need to be more selfless, and be more reflective on the people and situations around me. so thank you my dear friend, thank you for my bling. :)
enough of my ramblings. my electrician should be here soon and hopefully my kitchen won't be in the dark and i can do something with my friday night. however, i will leave you with this picture.
the time is near my friends. Anyone want to pop open a bottle of champagne with me on Feb 27th??!?!?!?
:)
Have a safe and fun weekend y'all!
I love you girl! I'm glad whatever attending had that convo with you. You have always been better than you think you are. It's definitely a female thing that we sometimes can't focus like we should be able to. We aren't able to compartmentalize as well as men. It would suit us though....we may come off as rigid, etc (like we accuse men of acting)...but learning to set aside issues and emotions when we need to would be something that I would LOVE to learn to do consistently. I am very guilty of living in my past so to speak. Thankfully, my hubs either ignores my comments or just keeps that, "Shut up already about that D-bag" in. I miss you and I miss critical care. I've seen you in action and I can say wholeheartedly that you are a wonderful doctor. Even if you're having a bad day, week, month.....it's in there and I know it....I've seen it. Love you!
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